Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
