.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So much Jack, so little girl.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
