if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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