great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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