TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize