Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
