Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize