started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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