woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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