I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
