Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
