I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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