the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
