its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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