I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sext me about skeletons
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
