i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
