So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
