I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
