I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
