my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
How naked do you want me to be?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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