I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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