why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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