You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
