I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
