Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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