WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize