I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
