It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize