Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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