stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
