"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
