About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
