I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
