At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
