i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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