i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
