My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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