Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
