Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
