I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
