Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
