google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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