Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
