xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
