hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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