I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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