I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
