So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
