your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
