I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Boobs speak an international language.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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