I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have fence marks all over my body
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
