susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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