I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize
