You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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