I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Randomize
