Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
