This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
