i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
