that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
