the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
false alarm. still invincible.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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