you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
