HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
