I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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