we're making bets on your personal life
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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