I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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