it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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