Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Randomize
