Whod you bang
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
