Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
