I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
