I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
