Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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