I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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