I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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