I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
