You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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