Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize