I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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