did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
